At the stroke of the midnight hour, when the world finishes International Women’s Week celebrations, I welcome another beautiful soul in my life — Yes, its a Girl !!!
Sitting here at Thomson Medical Centre in Singapore, looking at my wife in deep sleep after giving birth to our bundle of joy — I’m wondering what would my life be without the women “of my life". The answer is pretty simple, there wouldn’t be any life!
I have been an absolute useless fellow, a complete parasite and a duffer when it comes to any ‘order’ in life. That’s what you are likely to hear from some people who know me personally. People whom I interact professionally might have some good things to say about me. But the fact of the matter is I could achieve little bit in my career so far is because I didn’t have to worry about anything else. There were always women around me to take care of tougher stuff so that I could just do whatever I wanted. Which wasn’t much given I have not been a very ambitious guy when it comes to career and all. I would struggle to put a number to what I would be, had it not been for the women in my life. But on a safer side, I can say less than 5% of what I’m today.
Introducing women in my life - my Mother, my Sister and my Wife……And now comes my little princess, so its going to get better.
My mother has always been a working woman. My Dad was a big advocate of financial independence, I guess that was instrumental for my mother to pick up a career in a reputed public sector company in India. I have always seen her busy — busy with work, busy at home, busy at bringing us up, busy at colony gossip (she loves it but doesn’t accept it), etc, etc. We are three siblings, for us her evergreen memory has been of a 24x7 woman — starting her day at 6:30am, preparing breakfast, heading to work, coming back for lunch break, preparing lunch, back to work and then finally returning home at 5:45pm. It doesn’t end here, then in an hour or so - dinner time it is. Boring, isnt? Well, she did that for 20 years. We lost our father when I was 17, she raised three children into matured adults all those years, all alone. I can’t thank her enough for shaping my personality to what it is today. She has been “breaking the bias" like million other working mothers in India much before this term was even thought through.
My sister came into this world 3 years after I was born and today she has 3 years more work experience than I have. She runs a successful corporate storytelling and branding firm in India. She has been my best friend for the longest time, someone with whom I have shared many of my secrets which till date no one else knows. She has gone through lots of ups and downs in her life but had never let anyone or anything decides her destiny. She takes control and loves it to the core. I can discuss anything with her - be it academics, business, family, politics, movies, art, branding, etc. etc. and easily differ with her views almost 90% of the time. But we talk and we still talk. I absolutely love it. She has been instrumental in guiding my inner thought process in so many ways which I am sure even she doen’t realize.
My wife — as I look at her right now next to me, she is in pain (visibility), absolute discomfort, she is unable to move her body to have a proper look at our little angel. I think that’s what defines a woman. There shouldn’t be any gender equality debate because it’s not a level playing game. PERIOD. My wife has had a very strong impact on my outlook towards life. I have never seen her over-worry on anything, which is my favorite pastime BTW. She has this immense power to absorb any level of stress (read bullshit) and not show it on her face. On the contrary, I have limited tolerance for nonsense. She completes me-every minute, every hour, everyday. She brought in so much balance in my life which I can’t detail it out in one blog. She understands me effortlessly. I don’t have to tell her, she just gets it. I guess that’s what good relationships are built on. She didn’t even raise a question when I decided to leave my job to follow my passion for civil services — without any other job. We did have some financial obligations to take care of, she was like “will manage". When I decided to move overseas, she didn’t even think twice to move along, knowing very well that she would struggle to find work in a foreign land. I know how much she misses her work even today. She never lets me take the guilt. It was my decision- she says.
Now, I have my Princess taking a royal entry in our lives. We couldn’t be happier to have her. She completes us I guess. My friends have been scaring me with the wave of sleepless nights coming our way, but I guess we are looking forward to it like any other first time parent. I feel a sense of responsibility and an amazing fatherhood feeling. I don’t need any certification from an outsider, I know I have not been a great son, not a great brother and not a great husband either but I just hope that I am a good Dad. I don’t promise my princess a fairytale life with all the luxuries at her disposal, No. But I definitely promise her that I will work hard to ensure that I provide her with every possible opportunity to make a mark for herself. And be it success or failure, I will be standing right next to her to cheer her up for her next endeavor. I promise.
Someone said, life begins at 40 — it indeed does.
Love,
Vishal
Thomson Medical Center, Singapore
